BAd advise form stupid gurus drives Claude Diamond to drink
BAd advise form stupid gurus drives Claude Diamond to drink
Great deal from Henry Serrano
Dream, Dream, Dream
Author Preamble: “I should never write a food review story when I am hungry and I am a recovering vegan”! Claude
My Past life with Sliders
Ladies and Gentleman, I have a dream. (With apologies to Rev. King.)
It’s a good dream, probably one of the best! (The exception being the dream where my pants drop around my ankles, during an Anthony Robbins Fire Walk and I am wearing my Sponge Bob Boxer shorts! Betcha didn’t know they’re flameable, too ;-)
It’s late morning in July of 1983, about 95 humid degrees in New Jersey. I am beginning to get hungry as I travel on Rte. 280 outside beautiful Bloomfield, New Jersey when I have an Epiphany, a Revelation, a Vision of epic proportions. Actually, just a helluva good idea. Here it is; it’s time for some Sliders.
Ed Note: What is a Slider you ask? Think of a 3 square inch hamburger that is a quarter inch thick with 5 holes inside it like a donut. It’s covered with fried onions and is placed inside one of your Grandma’s soft and chewy white bread dinner rolls. Gloppy yellow cheese is optional. In other words, New Jersey Health Food. Hey, it has onions on it!
Today, it seems like every restaurant, bar, bistro and grill are offering sliders, from appetizers to main courses. I have even seen these puppies in high end restaurants and in the freezer case at the grocery stores. Suddenly everyone is discovering sliders. Sadly though, they are truly missing an experience by not enjoying them while driving!
I think I have about $10 or $11 in change in the ashtray, under the floor mat and between the secret seat crevasse in my lovely maroon Ford F-100 Pickup Truck (with no A/C, BTW). Eureka!! It’s even better than I hoped. I discovered $12.56 and 3 old cheese doodles, which I eat. (Hey, I said I was hungry.) Yes, a virtual goldmine.
I cautiously pull up to the drive thru blue and white window and order 8 with cheese, 7 without, 6 fries and the requisite diet beverage. Hey, a fellow has to watch his figure.
Will that be all, Sir?
Yes, Ma’am. (I truly am not worthy). I am handed the large white warm bag with the familiar blue logo and carefully place the delicacy on the bench seat as I hand over massive amounts of pennies, dimes, nickels, quarters and the occasional Peso.
Now begins the munch journey! The first Slider out of the bag is steaming and the delectable yellow cheese drips on my white shirt and new tie. Oh well, my clients will understand, after all, this is New Jersey and all I have to do is explain that I stopped for some Sliders, as is the custom. When in Rome…………
The first one is gone in 3 bites, ergo the name Slider. True connoisseurs squish 2 or 3 together (I do not recommend this while driving). This famished 18 year old, at one time, could eat them in one bite (also not recommended unless you have a co-pilot passenger who works as an EMT and who is versatile in the Heimlich Maneuver.
I am suddenly awakened from this fond memory trance as I glance down at my dinner; Large Romaine Lettuce Salad topped with Cold Lentil Beans, Hummus and Tofu.
A guy can always dream!
How to handle think about it’s
Mr. Prospect ” You’re NOT allowed to think about it”
How to go to the bank by doing something simple
Claude Vents about Sales, Marketing and making money.
How to control the sales and not feel manipulated all the time
Paper is not dead yet
THE SECRET OF GETTING EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED THRU THE KNOWLEDGE OF PERSUASION AND INFLUENCE
Why is this man the worlds greatest salesman ever ?
Find our tomorrow
San Diego Real Estate Seminar with Claude Diamond teaching the GUTS Sales Method. January 24-25-26. Click on the link and watch the video. Use the code word “Claude” and get in for $97.00 Reg Door $595.00
Is Governor Christie FUBAR
Christie and Company are FUBAR* or How to Tick Off Your Constituents Forever!!!!
They just don’t get it, do they? There is no forgiveness for such behavior. It is possibly the worst example of Callous Behavior in the history of American Culture! Heck, maybe in the modern world! You can raise our taxes, lower or remove our services, spy on us, even put us in endless overseas wars, but there is one thing for which there will never be absolution!
"Subterfugian Traffica", which, as we all know is Latin for "The Intentional Closing of traffic lanes to settle a political grudge regardless of who it affects!" This action goes by many names: Traffic Jams, Bottlenecks, Snarls, Logjams, Gridlock or my favorite, Rubber Necking.
We all go to the same church, mosque or temple, in situations like this. Our car slows down abruptly upon seeing the red brake lights in front of us, we come to a complete halt and begin the universal chant in unison, Oh Sh*t! Ed Note: Of course, we also needed to go to the bathroom 20 minutes ago from drinking all of the venti size beverages we drank prior to the traffic jam!
Unfortunately, most everyone can identify with traffic problems. To intentionally place decent, hard working commuters into traffic is insufferable and intolerable. It is absolutely, the worst thing you could possible do to a commuter/voter. You can do mea culpeas for 2 hours in a press conference, promise investigations, fire a few token employees, but there is never forgiveness for such a travesty.
You can do just about anything to the American Taxpayer. They are busy with their own lives and put their faith in their leadership (occasionally). This is a republic after all, a representative form of Democracy. Voters go to jobs they may not like just to put Mac ‘n Cheese on the table. They sit in their cars traveling minuscule distances for hours. Why you ask? The answer, because they have to. They deal, on a regular basis with all kinds of delays; traffic, weather and fender benders which usually affect their schedules of going to work, picking up the kids from school or the dog from the shampoo truck. They don’t like it, but understand and deal with it except, in the unusual cases of LA road rage. (Folks shoot at each other from their cars.) Ed Note: This is rumored to be a future Olympic sport, possibly sponsored by The NRA and Remington.
My Suggestion. The Governor and his staff must pay penance and suffer the same way we do. No Jail, civil lawsuits or resignations. No, that would be getting off too easily. The punishment must fit the crime. They must give up their chauffeur driven black SUVs and commit to driving themselves to work 5 days a week for one year. The vehicle they drive must be a used compact size Yugo with a noisy, barely functioning heater, no Sirius, only AM radio. They must commute a distance of 50 miles each way. Spilling hot coffee on their clothing, while stopping short, is also recommended to avoid future recidivism.
Ah, I feel so much better now! I can dream, can’t I? A vivid imagination is such a wonderful thing!
* Ask your kids or google it.
Claude Diamond is a Success mentor in The GUTS Sales and Success Method. If you like this article then go to www.claudeDiamond.com for a free subscription to Success Stories